Tuesday, March 15, 2016

The Family Decorator: PART 2

The family decorator

   LondonBetty walked back into the room and peered at me as I was still looking at the array of “Family” photos on the piano. My expression of “AHA!” and the large light bulb, in a cartoon thought bubble, hovering over my head seemed to go unnoticed by Betty. She started pointing things out and showing me around.
  “ First things first”, she said, “I’ve had a lot of designers here already”...I looked out of the large picture window and wondered if they were encased in concrete under the mammoth fountain.
   “I LOVE my pink carpeting and if you cant work with it, then it’s a deal breaker!!” Betty cried out. Realizing I had let my imagination run wild, I told her, “pink is my favorite color...we will have no problems!”
   We left the living room and went into the dining room and then off to the right side was the kitchen. In those two rooms almost every surface was covered with clear vinyl slipcovers and cloths. Each seat was tightly sealed to ensure that a thousand years from now, they would still be as fresh as the day they were purchased.
    The kitchen table had a bright floral tablecloth with a clear vinyl one over it. “Sunday Red Gravy” splatters would never penetrate or stain the fabric. The kitchen was large and every surface was filled with bric-a-brac.
   The kitchen overlooked the back yard, pool and patio. The patio had stockpiles of mismatched outdoor furniture and every yard and pool novelty item ever made. Clever silly signs, fiberglass ducks and ducklings and frogs. There were deer strategically placed as if they just came from the   woods to watch the swimmers. A few bird feeders also dotted the lawn, in case an actual live animal  landed there by accident. Betty told me that she never really came out here, no wonder; there was  really no place for her  (unless she moved a couple of the gnomes) 
   We moved back through the kitchen and out to another pink carpeted hallway. To our left she had me peek inside of her husband’s dark wood paneled office. She told me the artwork was some of the paintings that used to hang in their restaurant in Little Italy. Others, like the large nudes, were painted with a heavy hand, a lot of red paint and almost gynecological detail. They were treasured gifts from artists. To her husband’s credit, there was no pink carpeting in this room.
   Back in the living room we started to discuss the details of design. She wanted matching sea-foam green loungers in front of the 72” television. I suggested reading lamps on each side. Betty said they didn’t read.
    I was glad the light bulb over my head was still there....I needed it for both ideas and lighting. 


Classic Fried Dough

It's the most popular and greasy pizza in Italy! Fried dough is usually
sold as street food but is sometimes included in the menu of fancy
restaurants. Get your fix of fried dough in the comfort of your own


4 cups flour 4 tbsp. shortening 2 tsp. salt 1/2 cup warm water 2 pkgs.
yeast, dissolved together with 1/2 cup warm water 2 cups warm water
Use a bowl with a cover. Combine liquids; add flour, shortening and
salt. Mix well. Grease top of dough lightly. Put in bowl and cover. Let
air out of bowl every 15-20 minutes. Let rise 1 1/2 to 2 hours. Shape
dough with fingers. Put in hot grease and fry until golden brown.


  1. Love this! Hilarious! Could just see the pink carpeting and golden touches.

  2. Linda Gorman McCandlessMarch 24, 2016 at 12:40 PM

    I love it too!! Your writing is seamless and seems effortless. Your so descriptive when you describe a person or a room. Just perfect as you allow us a detailed mental picture without distraction to things that don't matter. I'm loving your witty writing! You're awesome!

  3. Linda Gorman McCandlessMarch 24, 2016 at 12:53 PM

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  4. Terrific description - of course they don't read!