Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Penpals and Girl Scouts: The Road to the Presidency

 Penpals and Girl Scouts:
The Road to the Presidency

I think the reason I genuinely love Facebook so much is because it is the New Century's version of penpals.

 Facebook has let me correspond with strangers, or friends, or friends of friends of friends. I can share a story without the uncomfortable problems of face to face meetings. If I haven't washed my hair this week, or if I am simply in the mood to go "pant-less" ...no problem. instead of pulling on pants or washing my hair, I will post a photo from 20 years ago. i will find a picture that shows me before time and gravity took it's toll. People will reply with smiley faces or hearts. Having no idea that someone who needs a burlap bag over their head, like John Merrick, sits typing on the other end.....as i talk freely with someone who is probably on a neighborhood sex offenders list.

  When i was a little girl, my sister, Roberta, had a pen pal. His name was Edmon Sum from Singapore. Back then, the thought of receiving an international Air Mail letter, written on tissue thin paper, was awesome! The world was so much bigger then, and far away places were actually far away!

 His letters were filled with thrilling tales about a bowling alley...the First bowling alley in all of Singapore was being built near his home.What luck... He loved to bowl...INCREDIBLE!! A young boy in Singapore was bowling.....Who Knew?!  Tell me More!!!  How could i not be part of this electrifying narrative! 

This Singapore penpal  was asking  Roberta to send him a pair of Beatle Go Go Boots. He had the customary assumption that all Americans were rich. Edmon wanted her to send him a pair of stylish and very expensive shoes. 

 Just a side note, neither Roberta nor I owned Beatle Boots...our mother selected our clothing carefully...she had an eye for fashion...fashion that suited 45 year old matrons and dressed us that way. Our sensible ensembles screamed, " i may be in elementary school, but I'm already planning to be a spinster....

  Those were the years of Mod and Mary Quant. Living in North Carolina, we would take magazine pictures of Twiggy with her Famous "Elfin" cut ,or Mary Quant sporting a Sassoon creation to the hair salon. We went to Mr Leon, himself, at Leons Beauty Parlor. He was Greensboro's "Corky St Clare" from "Waiting for Guffman".... he would lose himself in a flurry of washing, snipping, spraying, setting and drying. Then, Ta Da...the moment of magic.... when he turned your chair toward the mirror....the reflection staring back at you was one part Mamie Eisenhower, one part Tammy Wynette and 2 parts closeted gym teacher.

  A year or so after Roberta stopped exchanging letters with her Edmon Sum, i snuck into room her room and stole from her desk, the letters from her foreign friend. I wanted the excitement and mystery of an exotic confidante.  i wanted to be part of this story, but i did not want to actually do the work of writing any letters. That seemed like an exhausting task... so i used my time more wisely. With no expertise in the complicated "Art of Forgery", I craftily changed my sister's name on the letters and replaced them with my own. 

At that point in time, I was in Girl Scouts. Dressed in my new green uniform with an empty badge-less sash, i brought in my badly doctored letters to my scout leader. I submitted them as my own correspondence for a Penpal Badge. My leader looked at my submissions and shook her head. I felt her eyes on me as she spoke to the other leader showing her the letters. Like Chuck Connors in "Branded", my fly-up wings were pulled off my uniform and i was cast out of the cottage...I was kicked out of Girl Scouts, never to hold hands in the friendship circle again...all for bad forgery skills.

Now you might be wondering how does this all tie in together?? Well, I will tell you, my loyal readers, this is where my run for president starts to take form.

From my questionable international correspondences, to my short stint in a green uniform where i pledged my honor (with fingers crossed) "to serve God and my country", i was already laying the groundwork for my #VOTEFORRUTHIE campaign. Until now, there has never been a time in history where the greatest qualifications for being considered for Leader of the Free World are "Truth Bender and a steadfast commitment to do nothing"

Bask in my moment ....join in my movement....Be part of #VOTEFORRUTHIE....

My blog catalogues a lifetime of bad decisions, and I promise that I can make bad decisions for you too!

 My candidacy is where integrity is just a slogan. 



as long as i am cheating on my Girl Scout badges,
here is a delicious cheat on how to make their famous Samoa Cookies

1 cup softened butter
1/2 cup sugar
2 cups all purpose flour
1/4 t baking powder
1/2 t salt
1/2 t vanilla
1-2 T milk

3 c shredded coconut
12 oz chewy caramels
1/4 t salt
3 T milk
18 oz dark chocolate chips

preheat oven 350
cream butter and sugar- add flour, baking powder, salt, vanilla...dough will be crumbly. add 1 T milk to get dough to come together...can add the other T milk a little at a time if needed
roll out dough 1/4" thick cut into circles...1 1/2" biscuit round, use back of decorating tip to cut out center to make ring
bake 10-12 minutes until light brown
turn down oven to 300
spread coconut  on sheet pan toast 20 minutes
in pot add caramels, salt, milk ...melt on low heat stirring all the time... add toasted coconut mix well

spread mixture over cooled cookies...let set
melt chocolate in double boiler
dip base of cookies in chocolate and drizzle remaining chocolate on top

or order Girl Scout Cookies