Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Penpals and Girl Scouts: The Road to the Presidency

 Penpals and Girl Scouts:
The Road to the Presidency



I think the reason I genuinely love Facebook so much is because it is the New Century's version of penpals.

 Facebook has let me correspond with strangers, or friends, or friends of friends of friends. I can share a story without the uncomfortable problems of face to face meetings. If I haven't washed my hair this week, or if I am simply in the mood to go "pant-less" ...no problem. instead of pulling on pants or washing my hair, I will post a photo from 20 years ago. i will find a picture that shows me before time and gravity took it's toll. People will reply with smiley faces or hearts. Having no idea that someone who needs a burlap bag over their head, like John Merrick, sits typing on the other end.....as i talk freely with someone who is probably on a neighborhood sex offenders list.



  When i was a little girl, my sister, Roberta, had a pen pal. His name was Edmon Sum from Singapore. Back then, the thought of receiving an international Air Mail letter, written on tissue thin paper, was awesome! The world was so much bigger then, and far away places were actually far away!
 

 His letters were filled with thrilling tales about a bowling alley...the First bowling alley in all of Singapore was being built near his home.What luck... He loved to bowl...INCREDIBLE!! A young boy in Singapore was bowling.....Who Knew?!  Tell me More!!!  How could i not be part of this electrifying narrative! 

This Singapore penpal  was asking  Roberta to send him a pair of Beatle Go Go Boots. He had the customary assumption that all Americans were rich. Edmon wanted her to send him a pair of stylish and very expensive shoes. 

 Just a side note, neither Roberta nor I owned Beatle Boots...our mother selected our clothing carefully...she had an eye for fashion...fashion that suited 45 year old matrons and dressed us that way. Our sensible ensembles screamed, " i may be in elementary school, but I'm already planning to be a spinster....

  Those were the years of Mod and Mary Quant. Living in North Carolina, we would take magazine pictures of Twiggy with her Famous "Elfin" cut ,or Mary Quant sporting a Sassoon creation to the hair salon. We went to Mr Leon, himself, at Leons Beauty Parlor. He was Greensboro's "Corky St Clare" from "Waiting for Guffman".... he would lose himself in a flurry of washing, snipping, spraying, setting and drying. Then, Ta Da...the moment of magic.... when he turned your chair toward the mirror....the reflection staring back at you was one part Mamie Eisenhower, one part Tammy Wynette and 2 parts closeted gym teacher.

  A year or so after Roberta stopped exchanging letters with her Edmon Sum, i snuck into room her room and stole from her desk, the letters from her foreign friend. I wanted the excitement and mystery of an exotic confidante.  i wanted to be part of this story, but i did not want to actually do the work of writing any letters. That seemed like an exhausting task... so i used my time more wisely. With no expertise in the complicated "Art of Forgery", I craftily changed my sister's name on the letters and replaced them with my own. 


At that point in time, I was in Girl Scouts. Dressed in my new green uniform with an empty badge-less sash, i brought in my badly doctored letters to my scout leader. I submitted them as my own correspondence for a Penpal Badge. My leader looked at my submissions and shook her head. I felt her eyes on me as she spoke to the other leader showing her the letters. Like Chuck Connors in "Branded", my fly-up wings were pulled off my uniform and i was cast out of the cottage...I was kicked out of Girl Scouts, never to hold hands in the friendship circle again...all for bad forgery skills.


Now you might be wondering how does this all tie in together?? Well, I will tell you, my loyal readers, this is where my run for president starts to take form.

From my questionable international correspondences, to my short stint in a green uniform where i pledged my honor (with fingers crossed) "to serve God and my country", i was already laying the groundwork for my #VOTEFORRUTHIE campaign. Until now, there has never been a time in history where the greatest qualifications for being considered for Leader of the Free World are "Truth Bender and a steadfast commitment to do nothing"


Bask in my moment ....join in my movement....Be part of #VOTEFORRUTHIE....

My blog catalogues a lifetime of bad decisions, and I promise that I can make bad decisions for you too!



 My candidacy is where integrity is just a slogan. 



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  RECIPE:

as long as i am cheating on my Girl Scout badges,
here is a delicious cheat on how to make their famous Samoa Cookies



COOKIE INGREDIENTS:
1 cup softened butter
1/2 cup sugar
2 cups all purpose flour
1/4 t baking powder
1/2 t salt
1/2 t vanilla
1-2 T milk

TOPPING INGREDIENTS:
3 c shredded coconut
12 oz chewy caramels
1/4 t salt
3 T milk
18 oz dark chocolate chips


preheat oven 350
cream butter and sugar- add flour, baking powder, salt, vanilla...dough will be crumbly. add 1 T milk to get dough to come together...can add the other T milk a little at a time if needed
roll out dough 1/4" thick cut into circles...1 1/2" biscuit round, use back of decorating tip to cut out center to make ring
bake 10-12 minutes until light brown
cool
turn down oven to 300
spread coconut  on sheet pan toast 20 minutes
in pot add caramels, salt, milk ...melt on low heat stirring all the time... add toasted coconut mix well

spread mixture over cooled cookies...let set
melt chocolate in double boiler
dip base of cookies in chocolate and drizzle remaining chocolate on top

or order Girl Scout Cookies
 

26 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. I was in the Boy Scouts for awhile, but all we ever did was go swimming, which suited me perfectly since I couldn't tie knots and really didn't want to learn. As an eight year old boy, I did a Popeye imitation that made my mother laugh helplessly! Unfortunately, no one else got it and I still couldn't tie knots!

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  3. I like bowling. Love Samoas. The freedom of pantlessness. And your stories.

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  4. #voteforruthie bringing back the friendship circle one vote at a time. Weren't you better at forging checks?

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  5. "part Mamie, part closeted gym teacher"--hahahaha!

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  6. Are those American Samoa cookies? If so they are perhaps the first fusion food.. along with American Chop Suey. I trust in you fully. The Abyss has never looked so grand and inviting. On a side note my Dad once made the mistake of ordering Harper's Bazaar off of a magazine pick list instead of Harper's Magazine. For an entire year us boys were treated to scantily clad models of 1968. My sister liked the magazine too. Mom? ...not so much...

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  7. This is why I love Facebook. It has the most interesting people. #voteruthie

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  8. Ruth I may have wet my pants..Mr.Leon and an elementary student dressed matronly like one's mother.

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  9. You a good writer dere, Ruthie!! I sure hope you're saving these pieces and then backing them up; a thumb drive that should be kept in a safe place; nowhere near any sort of computer! Please tell me you are! And also, also hope you're getting your search for a great publisher under way now; somebody who'd understand how to get a book like this before the public! Somebody who would know how to make sure you get rid of all the over-emphatic exclamation points and those stupid semi-colons. No kidding; your writing deserves a gigunda (that is to say, large) reading public and something tells me you're ready for the big leagues! And obviously, it'll be fine spending time writing ensconced in the oval office. regards, William

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    Replies
    1. from your lips to God's ears.....if i believed in God

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  10. Funny cat memes A round of applause for your blog.Really thank you! Fantastic.

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  11. good night honey i love you Thanks so much for the article post.Much thanks again. Really Cool.

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  12. I have read your article; it is very informative and helpful for me. I admire the valuable information you offer in your articles. Thanks for posting it.

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